My Journey to Hell…. or Will I Find Heaven!? Thursday, Jun 22 2017 


For as long as I can remember I have wanted to travel to a third world country on a mission – a mission to help the less fortunate. Today, I begin my journey to do just that. 
Domonique (my former classmate, now friend) and I are sitting in the airport awaiting our flight to Miami. We will be traveling with a group of surgeons from the Association Haitienne de Developpment Humain as the only two surgical technicians, assisting with each surgery. 
Tomorrow begins our journey to Haiti. Tomorrow begins a journey of a lifetime. 
Haiti, to this day, remains the poorest country in the Americas. More than 10% of Haitian children perish before reaching the age of 5. Due to the high amount of AIDS and violence, Haiti has the greatest amount of orphans in the Western Hemisphere. Jobs are scarce; yet, many of the jobs available involve unfair labor practices. After the hurricane of 2010, over 1.5 millions Haitians were displaced, 250,000 were killed, and 300,000 others were injured. Only 50 percent of the Haitian population have access to safe drinking water. And $9 million people live below the poverty line of US$1 per day. 
Tomorrow, we travel to Hell on Earth. But tomorrow, I hope to find a piece of Heaven. 
Please, join us on our journey….

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The Judgment of Robin Williams Wednesday, Aug 20 2014 

In the last two days, my news feed has been filled with many posts of Robin Williams. 95% of those posts were messages of shock, loss, and sadness, along with memories of laughter that he shared with the world. However, 5% of the posts consisted of the most judgmental and most disrespectful thoughts I have ever read about someone’s death.

One post, in particular, truly struck a nerve with me (even more than others). And because of that, I felt compelled to comment. Within minutes, I found that my comment had been removed and that I had been unfriended. I am not sure if my comment just upset him, if he felt that my comment proved him to be wrong in his words, or if he just couldn’t handle someone else’s thoughts on the matter. I will let you be the judge of that.

I will not use his real name, but will refer to him as “Critic,” as not to cause him further embarrassment.

 

Critic’s post:

I do not wish to be controversial in fact in all honesty I told myself I wasn’t going to comment on this. The Lord saw otherwise. I’m both alarmed and disturbed by the amount of Christian posts wishing Robin Williams to rest in peace even with the REPORTS that he committed suicide. (Even while it is reported that he did, in my eyes, only the Lord knows, and now a days who can trust the Media to be true?)

 

Nevertheless, the fact that it is reported and Gods people still say #RIP (REST IN PEACE) to him leads me to a few questions, do we even believe in hell anymore? Do we even believe in John 3:3-5 anymore? Do we even take literal the words of Jesus anymore?

 

I grew up watching Robin Williams as a child, so for me the initial news made my heart sank, then the scripture came to mind “Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful” (Proverbs 14:13). Yes he made us laugh, but was he really smiling on the inside while entertaining millions? The obvious answer maybe NO! And as a result we celebrate and bid his eternal life god speed? Let me ask a question then, exactly WHAT are we celebrating if eternity is supposed to be more important than this life? And If in laughter the heart is still sorrowful? How can one rest in peace in eternity if they could not on earth? It is possible that Robin Williams was born again of water and Spirit and we never knew it, however there may be an even stronger possibility he was not. I am not advocating that we walk around pronouncing people into hell, but what I AM saying is that we should not automatically put blatant sinners in heaven (eternal peace) either. Wake up CHURCH! Who’s side are you on! I’m not judging Robin Williams but I am the church.

 

1st Cor 5:12

“For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?”

 

Two comments from others:

 

Kimberly – “Once a person crosses over into eternity, I try not to speak of it.”

 

 

Rachel – ” Critic while I understand where you are coming from there is a such this as WISDOM and in these situations the better part of WISDOM is to simply state “He is now in the hands of a just and merciful God” where his fate will be decided and leave it at that. Anything besides that comes across like we know everything and as very judgmental. We don’t know it ALL! Only God does. As you said yourself media reposts are not always correct which reiterates that God and ONLY God knows what truly happened therefore God and ONLY God can condemn or save his soul. The bible says only God sees and knows a mans heart so why don’t we leave the decision of where his final resting place is to the one that actually bled and died to save him. Hope you have a good rest of your day my brother.”

 

My response:

 

“I could not agree more, Kimberly and Rachel! Otherwise it comes off as cunning judgement. We do not know his level of spirituality, nor where he stood in the plan of salvation in his last days on earth. Only he and God know what occurred from the day of his birth to his last dying breath.

I personally do not use the phrase “Rest in Peace” or “RIP,” because I’ve just never been a fan of it. However, I am quite aware that many do, as a term/phrase of endearment, especially when they don’t know what else to say. It is not necessarily that it is always used literally — positive or negative knowledge in where the soul will rest. Those words are just words of hope and comfort.

The reason that there has been so many posts about him is because he made us all laugh — from Mork & Mindy to Mrs. Doubtfire and many, many more. It is not about the life he led outside of the film industry, it is about the way he made us feel and the way he pulled us “out of the trenches” through laughter. If only we could have done the same for him.

Yes, I celebrated his life and I bid his eternal life god speed… for it should be everyone’s wish and desire to go to Heaven as well as for everyone else to go to Heaven. I will not wish anyone hell speed! I am NOT God and CANNOT nor WILL NOT judge!

Yes, Critic, even in laughter the heart is sorrowful. Yes, he made us laugh, and he apparently he wasn’t smiling inside. However, I do not understand the point you’re trying to make, because no man is completely happy on this earth. We all long for that perfect place without sickness, pain, and death – a lifetime of love and comfort; happiness and peace.

Robin Williams was a father, son, uncle, brother, and friend. He and his family deserve the respect of everyone, ESPECIALLY Christians. It does not matter how he died. Death is death and loss is loss. His family does not need to hear the negative, nor the judgements. They are already struggling with enough pain.

And I’m sorry, Critic, but you made this controversial with your choice of words. Had God been behind your post, He would’ve chosen your words with such eloquence and love, rather than with such judgment and condemnation as were yours. There should be a wisdom in those words, as Rachel said in her comment.”

 

Your words:

 

“It is possible that Robin Williams was born again of water and Spirit and we never knew it, however there may be an even stronger possibility he was not.”

 

“I am not advocating that we walk around pronouncing people to hell, but I AM saying is that we should not automatically put blatant sinners in Heaven (eternal peace) either.”

 

In your words, I find nothing but condemnation and lack of hope.

 

God’s Words:

 

Titus 3:2-7

“To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men. For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. But after that the kindness and love of God our Savior toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior; That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.”

 

Luke 6:36-37

“Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.”

 

In God’s words, I find the TRUTH…the truth of hope, grace, and mercy…without condemnation.

 

Robin Williams will be forever remembered as the world's funny man. He will be greatly missed by so many. THANK YOU FOR YEARS OF LAUGHTER!!! 1951-2014

Robin Williams will be forever remembered as the world’s funny man. He will be greatly missed by so many.
THANK YOU FOR YEARS OF LAUGHTER!!!
1951-2014

 

You Have A Choice!!! Wednesday, Feb 5 2014 

735178_10200242197079716_77444777_n After reading several statuses, on Facebook, in the past few days, I thought I should share this: I used to question why things have happened to me – why have people treated me as they have – referring to past relationships, past friendships, etc. I would get so tired of being used, hurt, talked down to, made to feel guilty, and rejected.  Yet, I have never been one who enjoys drama (except the kind of drama found on TV and in movies – you have to have a little SVU, in your life!!).  I steer clear of drama, every chance I get, trying to keep the peace, as much as possible.  At times, I have felt manipulated, and only wanted around when needed; at times, I was.  Many times, I felt played; many times, I was.  But, it was easier to just keep my opinions to myself, to just do what I was asked, to give more than what was being received – not because I’m a pushover… again, I was keeping the peace.  You see, I was always told to “be me.”  I didn’t like how others were treating me.  I didn’t want to be like them.  So, I gave of myself, how I would hope others would be to me.  I still do. While reading those certain statuses, that I mentioned earlier, I saw in them pain, hurt, bitterness, rejection.  I saw anger, depression, and shame.  I saw blame, manipulation, and control – blaming another for something (which, may have indeed been true), but allowing that persons actions to eventually control their own; hence, the cross-manipulation, bitterness, anger, resentment, etc.  Sure, my life has not been the easiest.  These last few years – 2010 & 2011 – were two of my hardest years.  2012, was on the verge of that as well, but during my hardest month, of 2012, I was told something that really struck me:

No one can control the actions of others. But, what can be controlled is how you allow others to treat you…and how you react to it.

“No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt “Men will treat you the way you let them.” – Tucker Max The realization came to me… It is perfectly acceptable to “be me,” but it is also perfectly acceptable to set boundaries for myself.  I cannot solely fault those, who have hurt or used me, for their actions, for it has been my actions that have decided, in the end, what “happened to me.”  I said all of that, to say this… if you feel used, don’t allow yourself to be used again.  Be you and be there for that person, yet set your boundaries! You may not be able to jump and fulfill their every need… DO THEY HELP YOU TOO?  If you feel manipulated, don’t manipulate back… STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!  YOU DESERVE BETTER!  If someone hurts you.. TELL THEM.. TALK IT OUT.. DO NOT HURT BACK!  (If you do, you’re only stooping to their level.)  If you’re being played… again, you deserve better.  Someone who loves you and cares about you will NOT play you… WALK AWAY!!!!  If you have been rejected… that was that person’s loss… don’t keep looking at the door that’s closed.. there is someone else waiting for you to see them… OPEN THE NEXT DOOR!!!  Be with the person that knows what they have when they have you… not after they lose you. You may think you have such a horrible life, but you’re making it horrible, by dwelling on what is done and cannot be changed.  At this moment, you have the right to change your story’s ending.  Start writing the next chapter.  Stop worrying yourself, with the actions of others.  Sure it’s ok to question, but start controlling the way you deal with it. You may have been the victim, but you have a choice whether or not to stay the victim.  You also have the choice whether or not to be the next offender.  FORGIVE AND MOVE ON!!!!! STOP POSTING YOUR PROBLEMS ON FACEBOOK…. and BE HAPPY FOR THE THINGS THAT ARE GOING RIGHT IN YOUR LIFE!!! Live life knowing that, no matter what others have done, or chose to do to you, you gave it your best shot… for yourself, and for others.  Let people know how you want to be treated.  Place your boundaries.  Don’t lose yourself in others. Stop concerning yourself with trying to make someone else a better person… BE A BETTER YOU!!! Remember this… Disempowerment is YOUR CHOICE and ONLY YOURS!!!   ~Bek

No matter the outcome Tuesday, Oct 9 2012 


Words left unsaid. Chances not taken. Opportunities missed. Questions left unanswered.

That was who I was and how I lived. Afraid. Afraid of the what-ifs. Afraid of the rejections. Afraid of hurting and being hurt. Afraid.

I stepped back… I reevaluated my life, realizing that I could no longer live my life full of fear of the what-ifs. I have to live, reaching for the possibilities of what ‘could be,’ not the regrets of never knowing ‘what could have been.’

“While you’re standing there trying to decide whether or not to get the net, the butterfly is flying away.”

I may be too late. I may miss out. But, at least, I know that I tried. At least, I took a chance, no matter the outcome.

Don’t live in fear. Live in hope. Hope of new possibilities. Hope of dreams come true. Hope of the life you’ve been searching for. Hope in the unknown…..

“At any given moment you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end.”

Is it really about Chick-fil-A?? Thursday, Aug 2 2012 

Today, I read the following article about the Chick-fil-A fiasco, which I agreed with and posted on my Facebook timeline.

http://thepublicqueue.com/2012/what-chickfila-appreciation-day-is-really-about/

As a result, this comment, by a Facebook friend, was made:

read phil’s comment about this article and that sums up what christians really think not some reporter who is twisting a few scriptures out of the bible to prove his point. if you really want to know how a christian feels about this, phil’s comment sums it up. God bless

Normally, I would not have much to say to a comment like that; but, this one struck a bit of a nerve.  This was my response:

John 3:17 — For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
Mark 12:29-31 — And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.
I’m sorry, but as a fellow CHRISTIAN, I do not see where the author of this article took the Bible’s scriptures out of context. If Jesus was not sent here to condemn this world…then why do we take it upon ourselves to do so!? While the followers of Christ, and even the priests, chose to condemn and ridicule the prostitutes, liars, murderers, thieves, adulterers…Jesus chose to walk with them, to talk with them…and most of all, He chose to LOVE them.
I will take it even a step further, summing up what THIS Christian feels about this, and quote these scriptures….
Luke 6:36-37 — Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.
1 Peter 3:8-17 — Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it. For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil. And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good? But and if ye suffer for righteousness’ sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled; But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ. For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.
In Luke, Jesus tells us to be merciful – merciful, meaning to be compassionate towards another, as Christ is compassionate towards you. Do not judge, nor condemn another, if you do not want to be judged, nor condemned. Forgive, so that you may also be forgiven. That is pretty self-explanatory…and very clear and concise.
1 Peter teaches us how we, as Christians, should treat each other, as well as our enemies. While it agrees with the idea of standing united for something that you believe in…it also states that when standing united, you are to do so with compassion…courtesy…and….there’s that four letter word again….LOVE!! The scripture says… do not be vicious (evil) and do not complain by being harsh and angry (railing), just because someone else might be. On the contrary, it teaches us to speak love when others speak hate…to speak blessings, when you are being cursed.
In the last few days, I have been very disheartened by the behavior and words of some of my family, friends, and church family. Those of you who have belittled others, flicking your tongues like a serpent… why don’t you try promoting what you love, instead of bashing what you hate!? Sure, we all have a freedom of speech… and rightly so. However, how are you speaking? Are you choosing to speak with hate? Or, are you choosing to speak with sincerity, love, and with the mouth of Christ??
The Bible says again, in Psalms 34:13-14:  Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile. Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.  This, as well as in 1 Peter, is saying be careful of your words. Do not speak hurtful things. Avoid negativity and hatred. Rather, speak with kindness and peace.
“If you earnestly desire that your life should be long, and your days peaceable and prosperous, keep your tongue from reviling, evil-speaking, and slandering, and your lips from lying, deceit, and dissimulation. Avoid doing any real damage or hurt to your neighbour, but be ever ready to do good, and to overcome evil with good; seek peace with all men, and pursue it, though it retire from you. This will be the best way to dispose people to speak well of you, and live peaceably with you.’’
It is ok to take a stand for what you believe in, but do so in a way that is peaceable and for the right reasons. Think about it… Did you stand in line, at Chick-fil-a, to promote freedom of speech? Or, did you stand in line with bitterness and hatred in your hearts, because someone does not believe as you do?
If only we, as Christians, would take this kind of initiative to stand in line, giving $5 or $10, to help an orphan….a homeless man or woman….or a child who has no clothes or food. What if? Think of the difference you can make in so many lives…promoting love….rather than promoting hatred and condemnation.
If someone does not believe as you do, and you feel as they should, do not force feed it down their throats…. that will only cause regurgitation. Speak with peace. Speak with love. Pray for them. Leave it in God’s hands. Humble yourself. Live as Jesus did…. walk with those you do not agree with….talk with them….and most of all….LOVE them. You do not have to open your mind, but you must open your hearts. As HIS word says… It is better for you to suffer for well-doing, than to thrive for evil-doing. For when you seek and speak peace, with all men… you will, indeed, find peace within yourself…and you will be happy.
Again, I reiterate the two greatest commandements… LOVE GOD and LOVE PEOPLE
While hanging on the cross between two sinners, Jesus, himself being condemned, mocked, ridiculed, beaten, and hated by many… He looked at the sinner, who asked to be remembered, and said… “Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.”  (Luke 23:43)

Are we, as Christians, capable of that kind of love?

~Bek~

I have failed…ME Wednesday, May 23 2012 

Image

Lost in the past…Lost in memories…Lost in what WAS…

Lost…

I have taken my eyes off of the goal…

I have forgotten the journey that brought me here…

The journey that brought me from the person I once was…

The journey to the person I have worked so hard to be…

The pain…

The pain I felt then….The pain I feel now…The pain caused to others…The pain is the same…

The pain caused by the person I used to be…

There’s a reason I left that person behind…

Weak….Afraid….Broken….

I have failed….ME

Trying to fix everything around me….

I have taken the reigns from Christ….

I cannot look backwards…

The past is gone…all that’s left is now…

I must focus, not on what once was…

I must focus on what is…

Not the then….

But the now….

I cannot retrace my steps…

I must make new ones…

I cannot pick up where the past left off…

The past is broken…

Reconstruction is not possible…

Only new construction is….

It starts now…

It’s a new day…

Time to reflect…

Time to find me again…

The me I have become…

Strong…Courageous…Whole in Him…

The realization…

Remembering where I am….is not where others may be…yet, the respect must be the same…

I am better than I used to be…

I am remembering the journey…

The journey continues…

Mistakes made…

Are lessons learned…

My eyes are back on the goal…

Found….

Found in the now….found in making new memories…found in what IS…

~Bek~

21 Days… Tuesday, Apr 19 2011 

March 28, 2011 – April 17, 2011

21 Days of fasting.  21 days of prayer.  21 days of self-discovery.

What began as a journey for the church family, became a journey that tested my faith, and led me to a destination of self-discovery.

My pastor asked that we write our prayers, the ones we most desired to seek answers for, on our hearts.

March 28th my fast began.  It began with “break” week.

Break to destroy the completeness of; to force one’s way out of; to put an end to; to become fractured or broken; to stop abruptly; to yield or submit to.

I, first, had to break down MY will, so that I could seek after HIS will.

I began to pray, “God you know what my will is.  You know what I hope for and what I desire, but my will matters NOTHING compared to YOUR will.  God, I seek YOUR will.”

As I began to break down, I also began to break in.  I had to allow myself to be adapted for HIS purpose…HIS will.  I had to become broken of all of me, so I could focus on HIM.

When I allowed myself to break in, it became possible for me to break out.  This means that I was “ready for action.”  I was ready for GOD to move in, as my flesh moved aside.

April 4th started “bring” week.

Bring – to carry to another place; to get the attention of.

I began to bring forward everything that I had written on my heart.  I began to present to GOD all of my concerns and all of the situations that have been burdening my heart.

I began to bring forth my prayers….prayers not for myself….but prayers for three people who I have had a burden for since the end of 2010.

During this week, the sacrifices that I chose began to take a toll on my body.  I started questioning, “Why am I even doing this?  Will anything even come out of this?”

My Faith had become tested.

When we fast, we exercise our faith.  Fasting strengthens and deepens our faith.

Fasting requires Faith.

Fasting is a test of faith.  Faith helps us take that step towards something that we cannot see.  At the end of the fast, maybe only one prayer will be answered; maybe none.

Even still, by Faith we believe.  By Faith, we sacrifice.  By Faith, we trust.

On April 10th, my Faith was strengthened.  One of my prayers had been answered.

The perfect example of Faith, in my life, was able to regain strength and share a seat next to her husband during the morning service.

To some, that may seem like nothing, but to me that was everything.  If no other prayer would be answered, the 14 days that I had already sacrificed was indeed worth it.

This lady of Christ, who has had EVERY opportunity to lose her Faith, has instead chosen to HOLD ON to it….through EVERY storm.

It was as if GOD was reminding me….

2 Corinthians 12:9 ~ My grace is sufficient for thee:  for my strength is made perfect in weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:10 ~ for when I am weak, then am I strong.

It was then and there that I decided, though I cannot see the end….I do not know that I will see any other prayers answered…..but I will continue…..I will complete this sacrifice.

April 10th began “break forth” week.

This was the week that all the prayers that had been brought forth, and all that had been sacrificed would stand revealed.

I began to thank HIM, to praise HIM, to glorify HIM for all HE had done, and all HE will continue to do.

Although my prayers were not for myself, through my sacrifice, things in my life, that I have struggled with, have begun to break.

Because these things have begun to break, I have discovered a new truth and a new acceptance of myself.

For years, I have lived with insecurities.

These insecurities have caused me to lose out on things that I truly desired.

These insecurities have caused pain.

 These insecurities have caused me to miss out on opportunities.

I have come to accept the fact that I am not perfect; BUT I am created in the image of GOD who is PERFECT.

GOD makes no mistakes.  I was created the person I am for a reason.

It does not matter what others think of me.

I am who I am.  I live how I live.  I love who I love. I pray how I pray.

They have not walked in my shoes.

It does not matter if I have been in love and lost.

To have been in love and to have lost is better than to have never truly been in love at all.

It does not matter what I choose to do.

It does not matter who or what I choose to become.

I am not perfect.  I am just me.

I am GOD’s creation.  HE loves me for me.

“I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden I am unaware  of these afflictions,

eclipsed by glory and I realize how beautiful You are

and how Your affections are for me.”

The chains of insecurities, surrounding my life, are broken.

New doors, in my life, have begun to open.

I am being remade.

Is not this the fast that I have chosen?  to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? ~ Isaiah 58:6

Though these 21 days are gone, I will continue to cleave to Faith. I will continue to pray.

I will continue to trust in HIM.

“If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear Your voice,
I hold onto what is true, though I cannot see.
If the storms of life they come, and the road ahead
gets steep, I will lift these hands in faith, I will believe.”

BREAK.  BRING.  BREAK FORTH.

 21 days of sacrifice.

One prayer answered.

Worth it all.

~Bek~

Was It Worth It? ~ The life of a 19 year old angel Saturday, Mar 19 2011 

This past week, I was told of 7 people who had passed away – each because of different circumstances.  All stories are very sad and overwhelming to the family and friends.  For those who were ill, even though they knew death was near, it doesn’t make that loss any easier.

There was one story, however, that truly impacted my life.  It’s a story of a young, 19-year-old, woman.  She was traveling back to her hometown, to visit her grandparents, when her life was instantly taken from her in a very tragic automobile accident.  You may say, things like this happen all the time and then ask why did this story of someone I never met impact me so greatly.  The following is my answer:

Megan, in her short 19 years, already had a more fulfilled life than I.  She was full of life, full of purpose, full of desire and passion.  Not only was I told this from some of her friends (friends that only knew her very little — maybe met once or twice), but also from reading what people wrote in the their condolences, and from watching videos of her that were being posted on Facebook.  Everything that has been said about her has not been negative.  Everyone that speaks of her tells that she was very humble, caring, giving, thoughtful, accepting, and loving.

Today, I had the privilege of attending such a beautiful ceremony, celebrating the life of this young woman, Megan.  There are not enough words to describe the wide array of emotions that were converged into one room — sadness, joy, loss, peace, disbelief, comfort, and most of all LOVE.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes.  Make sure it’s worth watching.” 

That quote has been playing over and over in my mind ever since Tuesday, March 15, 2011 when I first heard of Megan’s tragic accident and how young she was.  I even questioned, why did this have to happen to her?  Why did someone so young, who hasn’t even truly lived, leave this earth so suddenly?  WHY!?  The answer to that question may never be known.  I have to wonder, what did Megan see?  What a story that had to be…..

I began to look deep inside myself….soul-searching.  I asked myself this question…. If I were to die today, at almost 26 years old, could I say that my life was worth it?

During the ceremony today, with every word that was spoken, with every emotion felt, you knew that she truly lived, she truly loved, and she was truly happy.  No, that doesn’t take away the fact that her life ended too soon, but it gives peace to those who knew her and loved her — to know that she lived a life of fulfillment.

Throughout her childhood, her parents instilled in her everything that they knew….everything that they thought she should know about life, love, happiness…and of GOD. God gives us all free-will.  When it came time for her to be responsible for herself, she took everything that was instilled in her and did not use them for the gifts and desires of this world, but rather for the GLORY OF GOD.

Again, you ask me how do I know these things, if I never met her…..  in a way, I feel I did.  She had such an impact on so many people’s lives — young, old, rich, poor, friends, and even strangers.   Because of this, stories are ringing out….stories of again, life, love, and happiness.

I want to learn to live like her — fearless, determined, humble, optimistic…..the list goes on and on.

I want to learn to love like her.  Megan’s boyfriend, Jordan, described their love for each other today.  Even though her feet are no longer touching the ground, his love continues on.  Because, “when you’re ruined (when you are in love with someone, loving them with all your heart, and there’s no possible way anyone else can compare), you don’t want to settle for less.”  While we all deserve to be loved and love like that in return, that isn’t the type of love that I am speaking of, for that is a different kind of love.  I want to learn to love like her — a love for the rich, the homeless, the healthy, the sick….indiscriminate love…..selfless love….

“We were always supposed to accomplish two basic tasks — Love God, Love People.  Everything else is just commentary! ” – Megan

The combination of these two things is what made her happy…. It is what made her who she was.  People will not remember you for the things you accomplished in school, your position at work, or what you were……they will remember you for WHO you were….for how you lived…if you were happy.  Megan is remembered for who she was — an earthly angel.

She accomplished this, by seeking after God….  I feel as if her life was based on this prayer:  “Open my eyes to things unseen.  Show me how to love like YOU have loved me.  Break my heart for what breaks YOURS.  Everything I am for YOUR kingdom’s cause.  As I walk from earth to Eternity.”

I can only imagine that when she looked into the face of Jesus, He looked her in the eyes and said, “well done…..WELL DONE….YOUR LIFE WAS WORTH IT!!!”

So today, I begin a new journey….. a journey to follow in the example of this 19-year-old woman.  She will forever be remembered.  Her legacy has surpassed many.  If I can only be half the person she was….

As the saying goes, “you have not lived until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.”  The way that Megan made people feel…..that can never be repaid.  Megan truly lived.  She continues living…..eternally…..no longer an earthly angel but, now and forever a Heavenly angel.

Again, I ask myself and I ask you….

HAVE WE TRULY LIVED?  HAVE WE TRULY LOVED?  ARE WE TRULY HAPPY?

IS YOUR LIFE WORTH WATCHING?

 

Megan Hollingsworth

June 24, 1991 – March 15, 2011

 

~Bek~

The Adjustment Bureau Thursday, Mar 17 2011 

The other night, I went to see The Adjustment Bureau starring Matt Damon and Emily Blunt.  I must say, I was enthralled — mostly because it really got me thinking.  If you are unaware of what this film is about, I have included the plot summary to get you up-to-date:


“Do we control our destiny, or do unseen forces manipulate us? Matt Damon stars in the thriller The Adjustment Bureau as a man who glimpses the future Fate has planned for him and realizes he wants something else. To get it, he must pursue the only woman he’s ever loved across, under and through the streets of modern-day New York. On the brink of winning a seat in the U.S. Senate, ambitious politician David Norris (Damon) meets beautiful contemporary ballet dancer Elise Sellas (Emily Blunt)-a woman like none he’s ever known. But just as he realizes he’s falling for her, mysterious men conspire to keep the two apart. David learns he is up against the agents of Fate itself-the men of The Adjustment Bureau-who will do everything in their considerable power to prevent David and Elise from being together. In the face of overwhelming odds, he must either let her go and accept a predetermined path…or risk everything to defy Fate and be with her.”


I found it to be a great movie…one that kept me guessing and hoping throughout the whole movie.  Yet, it wasn’t the actual film that fascinated me; it was the underlying messages that really “hit home with me.”  I will do my best to explain….


The theme from the movie:

“If you believe in free will…..If you believe in chance….If you believe in choice…..FIGHT FOR IT!!”


Each and every one of us has a destiny.  Each and every one of us has a path.  Each and every one of us must make choices —We make choices each and every day that affect our path, our journey, our destination.  Maybe it’s choices in our relationships.  Maybe it’s choices of our salvation.  Maybe it’s choices within ourselves.


WE ARE OUR OWN ADJUSTMENT BUREAU!!!


Some people believe that every choice we make will directly affect someone else’s life.  While that is somewhat true,  we must also realize that the other person also makes their own choices.  For instance,  in the movie, Matt Damon’s character begins thinking that if he chooses to stay with her, he will ruin her life and her dreams.  But in the end, it all comes down to a choice — not only a choice that he must make, but a choice that she must make as well — a choice to follow their hearts, or leave their hearts behind.


You see, even if your choices affect others, in the end it is THEIR choices that inevitably change their own life, their own path, their own destination.  We sometimes make our choices based on guilt, based on fear, based on others’ opinions or feelings.  However, as this film pointed out, if you do not follow your heart and what you truly desire for your life, there will always be a void within you.


“If you limit your choices, only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.” – Robert Frtiz


I discussed this topic with my dear friend, Holly.  What she had to say, I could not have even attempted to say it any better.  These are  her words, true words of wisdom:

“Humans like to say, ‘All things happen for a reason, God has my life laid out before me, so my destiny is completely in His hands.’  While God does have a plan for our lives, He gave us free will.  Therefore, we are free to make our own decisions, and as a result we tend to alter God’s plan for our lives.  Some shatter the God-vision for their lives, while others simply forge their own path in working toward God’s plan for them — proving still, while God has His hands on our lives, we are still the adjusters of our own path and destiny.”


It’s so easy to just drift through life, to go with the flow, and to just settle for what’s in front of us…. rather than seek what we truly want, stepping out into the unknown, and following after God’s plan for our lives.


Remember…. No one controls your life, but YOU!!


You are your own adjustment bureau.


Life is change.  Growth is optional.  Choose wisely.


~Bek & Holly~

Created Broken Saturday, Mar 5 2011 

I am broken….

…..broken in my thoughts

…..broken in my joy

…..broken in my hopes and dreams

…..broken in my heart….

….I am broken.

 

I began to question, am I broken beyond repair?  Am I restorable?

Then I realized….

I am not just a broken creation….I was created broken.

 

 Yes, my flesh is broken…

but in order for me to be whole….

my SPIRIT must also be broken.

 

Psalms 51:17 ~ The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit:  a broken and a contrite heart — These, O God, You will not despise.

Psalms 34:18 ~ The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

Isaiah 57:15 ~ I dwell in the high and holy place, with him who has a contrite heart and humble spirit, To revive the spirit of the humble, And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.

 

“I’m falling apart.  I’m barely breathing.  With a broken heart.  That’s still beating.  In the pain.  Is there healing.  In your name.  I find meaning.  So I’m holding on.  I’m barely holding on to you.”

 

 

I am broken….

…..broken before You, O God

…..broken in my spirit

…..broken in humility

…..broken of my own will….

….I am broken.

 

I no longer see myself as a broken creation.  I was created broken for a purpose.

I was created broken….broken so I might be made whole in Him.

 

~Bek~

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