You Have A Choice!!! Wednesday, Feb 5 2014 

735178_10200242197079716_77444777_n After reading several statuses, on Facebook, in the past few days, I thought I should share this: I used to question why things have happened to me – why have people treated me as they have – referring to past relationships, past friendships, etc. I would get so tired of being used, hurt, talked down to, made to feel guilty, and rejected.  Yet, I have never been one who enjoys drama (except the kind of drama found on TV and in movies – you have to have a little SVU, in your life!!).  I steer clear of drama, every chance I get, trying to keep the peace, as much as possible.  At times, I have felt manipulated, and only wanted around when needed; at times, I was.  Many times, I felt played; many times, I was.  But, it was easier to just keep my opinions to myself, to just do what I was asked, to give more than what was being received – not because I’m a pushover… again, I was keeping the peace.  You see, I was always told to “be me.”  I didn’t like how others were treating me.  I didn’t want to be like them.  So, I gave of myself, how I would hope others would be to me.  I still do. While reading those certain statuses, that I mentioned earlier, I saw in them pain, hurt, bitterness, rejection.  I saw anger, depression, and shame.  I saw blame, manipulation, and control – blaming another for something (which, may have indeed been true), but allowing that persons actions to eventually control their own; hence, the cross-manipulation, bitterness, anger, resentment, etc.  Sure, my life has not been the easiest.  These last few years – 2010 & 2011 – were two of my hardest years.  2012, was on the verge of that as well, but during my hardest month, of 2012, I was told something that really struck me:

No one can control the actions of others. But, what can be controlled is how you allow others to treat you…and how you react to it.

“No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt “Men will treat you the way you let them.” – Tucker Max The realization came to me… It is perfectly acceptable to “be me,” but it is also perfectly acceptable to set boundaries for myself.  I cannot solely fault those, who have hurt or used me, for their actions, for it has been my actions that have decided, in the end, what “happened to me.”  I said all of that, to say this… if you feel used, don’t allow yourself to be used again.  Be you and be there for that person, yet set your boundaries! You may not be able to jump and fulfill their every need… DO THEY HELP YOU TOO?  If you feel manipulated, don’t manipulate back… STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!  YOU DESERVE BETTER!  If someone hurts you.. TELL THEM.. TALK IT OUT.. DO NOT HURT BACK!  (If you do, you’re only stooping to their level.)  If you’re being played… again, you deserve better.  Someone who loves you and cares about you will NOT play you… WALK AWAY!!!!  If you have been rejected… that was that person’s loss… don’t keep looking at the door that’s closed.. there is someone else waiting for you to see them… OPEN THE NEXT DOOR!!!  Be with the person that knows what they have when they have you… not after they lose you. You may think you have such a horrible life, but you’re making it horrible, by dwelling on what is done and cannot be changed.  At this moment, you have the right to change your story’s ending.  Start writing the next chapter.  Stop worrying yourself, with the actions of others.  Sure it’s ok to question, but start controlling the way you deal with it. You may have been the victim, but you have a choice whether or not to stay the victim.  You also have the choice whether or not to be the next offender.  FORGIVE AND MOVE ON!!!!! STOP POSTING YOUR PROBLEMS ON FACEBOOK…. and BE HAPPY FOR THE THINGS THAT ARE GOING RIGHT IN YOUR LIFE!!! Live life knowing that, no matter what others have done, or chose to do to you, you gave it your best shot… for yourself, and for others.  Let people know how you want to be treated.  Place your boundaries.  Don’t lose yourself in others. Stop concerning yourself with trying to make someone else a better person… BE A BETTER YOU!!! Remember this… Disempowerment is YOUR CHOICE and ONLY YOURS!!!   ~Bek

Was It Worth It? ~ The life of a 19 year old angel Saturday, Mar 19 2011 

This past week, I was told of 7 people who had passed away – each because of different circumstances.  All stories are very sad and overwhelming to the family and friends.  For those who were ill, even though they knew death was near, it doesn’t make that loss any easier.

There was one story, however, that truly impacted my life.  It’s a story of a young, 19-year-old, woman.  She was traveling back to her hometown, to visit her grandparents, when her life was instantly taken from her in a very tragic automobile accident.  You may say, things like this happen all the time and then ask why did this story of someone I never met impact me so greatly.  The following is my answer:

Megan, in her short 19 years, already had a more fulfilled life than I.  She was full of life, full of purpose, full of desire and passion.  Not only was I told this from some of her friends (friends that only knew her very little — maybe met once or twice), but also from reading what people wrote in the their condolences, and from watching videos of her that were being posted on Facebook.  Everything that has been said about her has not been negative.  Everyone that speaks of her tells that she was very humble, caring, giving, thoughtful, accepting, and loving.

Today, I had the privilege of attending such a beautiful ceremony, celebrating the life of this young woman, Megan.  There are not enough words to describe the wide array of emotions that were converged into one room — sadness, joy, loss, peace, disbelief, comfort, and most of all LOVE.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes.  Make sure it’s worth watching.” 

That quote has been playing over and over in my mind ever since Tuesday, March 15, 2011 when I first heard of Megan’s tragic accident and how young she was.  I even questioned, why did this have to happen to her?  Why did someone so young, who hasn’t even truly lived, leave this earth so suddenly?  WHY!?  The answer to that question may never be known.  I have to wonder, what did Megan see?  What a story that had to be…..

I began to look deep inside myself….soul-searching.  I asked myself this question…. If I were to die today, at almost 26 years old, could I say that my life was worth it?

During the ceremony today, with every word that was spoken, with every emotion felt, you knew that she truly lived, she truly loved, and she was truly happy.  No, that doesn’t take away the fact that her life ended too soon, but it gives peace to those who knew her and loved her — to know that she lived a life of fulfillment.

Throughout her childhood, her parents instilled in her everything that they knew….everything that they thought she should know about life, love, happiness…and of GOD. God gives us all free-will.  When it came time for her to be responsible for herself, she took everything that was instilled in her and did not use them for the gifts and desires of this world, but rather for the GLORY OF GOD.

Again, you ask me how do I know these things, if I never met her…..  in a way, I feel I did.  She had such an impact on so many people’s lives — young, old, rich, poor, friends, and even strangers.   Because of this, stories are ringing out….stories of again, life, love, and happiness.

I want to learn to live like her — fearless, determined, humble, optimistic…..the list goes on and on.

I want to learn to love like her.  Megan’s boyfriend, Jordan, described their love for each other today.  Even though her feet are no longer touching the ground, his love continues on.  Because, “when you’re ruined (when you are in love with someone, loving them with all your heart, and there’s no possible way anyone else can compare), you don’t want to settle for less.”  While we all deserve to be loved and love like that in return, that isn’t the type of love that I am speaking of, for that is a different kind of love.  I want to learn to love like her — a love for the rich, the homeless, the healthy, the sick….indiscriminate love…..selfless love….

“We were always supposed to accomplish two basic tasks — Love God, Love People.  Everything else is just commentary! ” – Megan

The combination of these two things is what made her happy…. It is what made her who she was.  People will not remember you for the things you accomplished in school, your position at work, or what you were……they will remember you for WHO you were….for how you lived…if you were happy.  Megan is remembered for who she was — an earthly angel.

She accomplished this, by seeking after God….  I feel as if her life was based on this prayer:  “Open my eyes to things unseen.  Show me how to love like YOU have loved me.  Break my heart for what breaks YOURS.  Everything I am for YOUR kingdom’s cause.  As I walk from earth to Eternity.”

I can only imagine that when she looked into the face of Jesus, He looked her in the eyes and said, “well done…..WELL DONE….YOUR LIFE WAS WORTH IT!!!”

So today, I begin a new journey….. a journey to follow in the example of this 19-year-old woman.  She will forever be remembered.  Her legacy has surpassed many.  If I can only be half the person she was….

As the saying goes, “you have not lived until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.”  The way that Megan made people feel…..that can never be repaid.  Megan truly lived.  She continues living…..eternally…..no longer an earthly angel but, now and forever a Heavenly angel.

Again, I ask myself and I ask you….

HAVE WE TRULY LIVED?  HAVE WE TRULY LOVED?  ARE WE TRULY HAPPY?

IS YOUR LIFE WORTH WATCHING?

 

Megan Hollingsworth

June 24, 1991 – March 15, 2011

 

~Bek~

a road untraveled….to a world unseen Friday, Jan 21 2011 

 

We make a plan for our lives…. we dream… we seek a future… a road that we choose to follow, as we see fit, in order to reach the destination we have  created for ourselves.  This road, has been traveled by others before us.  It has been traveled by others with the same dreams, the same desires, the same fleshly wants.  There are footprints in this road…so many we don’t know which to follow and which to avoid.  It is lined with many road signs:  go forward, speed up, slow down, back up, yield, turn around.  More times than none, we reach a dead-end.  By the time we reach our destination, we lose who we are, who we wanted to become, and more importantly who GOD wants us to become.  We must STOP!  What is the purpose of trying to find ways to continue down that road, when the person we have become is not who we want to be?    What is the purpose of being miserable in who we are and in a destination that leaves us longing for more?


Hopes and dreams, and all the things

That you have ever made

It don’t mean much if in the end

You have lost your way

 

STOP!!  Refocus…..


Do not continue on the dead-end journey, a journey that you know is not going to change, a journey to a destination that is not complementary to your future.

 

STOP!!  Make a change…..

 

“Change is the essence of life.  Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”

“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.”


Too many times, we get accustomed to the life, the journey, the destination.   Too many times we choose to keep things as they are, no matter how dismal things have become.  Too many times we fear letting go of the familiar.  Too many times we lose out on a better life, a better journey, a better destination.

 

“In the midst of your greatest struggle lies the greatest opportunity for growth.  You grow through struggle.”

 

When the “dead-end” of our journey is reached, we struggle….we struggle with worry, with fear, with pain, with hurt.  We become afraid of the what if’s in life and the fears of regret.  However, we can learn from these struggles….and by giving them to GOD….we can grow.

 

Guilt and pain…

Here and now

Lay them down at the Savior’s feet…

Let go of all you know

Only then can life be found

Surrender all you hold

Lay it down, Lay it down, Lay it down


STOP!!  Seek HIM….

 

“The greatest thing in this life is not where we stand, but in what direction we are moving.”

“Leave the broken, irreversible past in God’s hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him.”

 

Cry out to your Heavenly Father….. leave your will behind and seek after HIS PERFECT WILL.  Let no dead end of your human desires stop you from seeking after the WILL OF GOD!!  Do not continue on a journey or continually live in a destination that leaves you hungry….hungry for love…hungry for peace….hungry for happiness…hungry for an understanding….hungry for a WALK and a RELATIONSHIP with GOD. Do not remain in a destination of uncertainty or constraint.  The past is the past and the present destination can be changed.  The pain, the hurt, the worry, the fear……place them in the hands of JESUS CHRIST….and move FORWARD!!  HE will take care of everything else, when you choose to follow after HIM.

 

STOP!!  Pray….


 

And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

Luke 11:9-10

 

When we seek after Christ and we choose to follow HIS WILL…..we surrender to HIM.  We no longer choose to walk by fear, but by FAITH.

 

“FAITH makes things possible….not easy.”


The new road in HIM will not be easy, but HE has a plan and a purpose.  Though we do not see the destination, HE does.  When we ask for a way out, when we ask for direction, when we ask for a new journey and a new destination….HIS WORD says that WE SHALL RECEIVE, WE SHALL FIND, and the door SHALL BE OPENED.  When HE answers your prayers….follow HIM.  Hold on by faith to HIM.  HE will lead you on a new road.  It will be a road where the only footprints are HIS.  It will be a journey where the only road signs say “FOLLOW ME.

 

If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be…

John 12:26

 

GO!!!  Follow HIM by FAITH…..

 

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you’ll discover will be wonderful.  What you’ll discover is yourself.”

 

You will find yourself in HIM….in HIS journey for you….and then you will discover your new destination…a new dream…a new future….with all the fullness of love….of happiness…of peace….

 

What have you got to lose?

Think of all you have to gain


HIS light….your light…awaits….

 

at the end of a road yet untraveled…..that leads to a world yet unseen…….

 

YOUR road…..YOUR world…..HIS PERFECT WILL……

 

 


 

~BEK~