The Adjustment Bureau Thursday, Mar 17 2011 

The other night, I went to see The Adjustment Bureau starring Matt Damon and Emily Blunt.  I must say, I was enthralled — mostly because it really got me thinking.  If you are unaware of what this film is about, I have included the plot summary to get you up-to-date:


“Do we control our destiny, or do unseen forces manipulate us? Matt Damon stars in the thriller The Adjustment Bureau as a man who glimpses the future Fate has planned for him and realizes he wants something else. To get it, he must pursue the only woman he’s ever loved across, under and through the streets of modern-day New York. On the brink of winning a seat in the U.S. Senate, ambitious politician David Norris (Damon) meets beautiful contemporary ballet dancer Elise Sellas (Emily Blunt)-a woman like none he’s ever known. But just as he realizes he’s falling for her, mysterious men conspire to keep the two apart. David learns he is up against the agents of Fate itself-the men of The Adjustment Bureau-who will do everything in their considerable power to prevent David and Elise from being together. In the face of overwhelming odds, he must either let her go and accept a predetermined path…or risk everything to defy Fate and be with her.”


I found it to be a great movie…one that kept me guessing and hoping throughout the whole movie.  Yet, it wasn’t the actual film that fascinated me; it was the underlying messages that really “hit home with me.”  I will do my best to explain….


The theme from the movie:

“If you believe in free will…..If you believe in chance….If you believe in choice…..FIGHT FOR IT!!”


Each and every one of us has a destiny.  Each and every one of us has a path.  Each and every one of us must make choices —We make choices each and every day that affect our path, our journey, our destination.  Maybe it’s choices in our relationships.  Maybe it’s choices of our salvation.  Maybe it’s choices within ourselves.


WE ARE OUR OWN ADJUSTMENT BUREAU!!!


Some people believe that every choice we make will directly affect someone else’s life.  While that is somewhat true,  we must also realize that the other person also makes their own choices.  For instance,  in the movie, Matt Damon’s character begins thinking that if he chooses to stay with her, he will ruin her life and her dreams.  But in the end, it all comes down to a choice — not only a choice that he must make, but a choice that she must make as well — a choice to follow their hearts, or leave their hearts behind.


You see, even if your choices affect others, in the end it is THEIR choices that inevitably change their own life, their own path, their own destination.  We sometimes make our choices based on guilt, based on fear, based on others’ opinions or feelings.  However, as this film pointed out, if you do not follow your heart and what you truly desire for your life, there will always be a void within you.


“If you limit your choices, only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.” – Robert Frtiz


I discussed this topic with my dear friend, Holly.  What she had to say, I could not have even attempted to say it any better.  These are  her words, true words of wisdom:

“Humans like to say, ‘All things happen for a reason, God has my life laid out before me, so my destiny is completely in His hands.’  While God does have a plan for our lives, He gave us free will.  Therefore, we are free to make our own decisions, and as a result we tend to alter God’s plan for our lives.  Some shatter the God-vision for their lives, while others simply forge their own path in working toward God’s plan for them — proving still, while God has His hands on our lives, we are still the adjusters of our own path and destiny.”


It’s so easy to just drift through life, to go with the flow, and to just settle for what’s in front of us…. rather than seek what we truly want, stepping out into the unknown, and following after God’s plan for our lives.


Remember…. No one controls your life, but YOU!!


You are your own adjustment bureau.


Life is change.  Growth is optional.  Choose wisely.


~Bek & Holly~

Be mine? Infatuation vs. Love Tuesday, Feb 15 2011 

Valentines Day 2011

Today, I read many Facebook posts saying “I Love You” – between married couples, dating couples, the old, and the young.  I sat there contemplating how many of these posts were really based on love or just infatuation.

Infatuation

“foolish or all-absorbing passion or instance of this; foolish or extravagant passion”

 

LOVE

“a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; a feeling of warm, personal attachment or deep affection; affectionate concern for the well-being of another”

 

Too many times, I see people, both young and old, abusing the word “LOVE.”  It’s meaning becomes diminished by infatuation, instead of the REAL THING.

 

THE SIMILARITIES:

Infatuation and Love, both, typically begin with attraction.  They both give the feeling of excitement and happiness.  They both leave you desiring more.

 

THE DIFFERENCES:

 

Infatuation

carried by attraction; physical desire; crush; lust……based solely on emotions (attraction)……focused on outward beauty……blind to flaws…..avoid problems……anxiety…..insecure and jealous…..fear of loneliness…..you compromise yourself and change who you are for that person….focused on the physical relationship……”I would die if you left me”…..mainly interested in satisfying your needs or wants….you want what you are feeling to be reciprocated above all else…..you aren’t aware of what you are getting yourself in, but rather act on impulse…..”in love” with the idea of being in love……when the excitement has worn off, you begin to see the person differently……weakened by time and separation

 

LOVE

romance; passion; attachment; commitment…..communication and devotion outweigh physical intimacy and emotions…..open and honest to flaws, but accept the person for everything they are……and without trying to change them for you, encourage them to be everything they can be……willing to work through all problems…..compromise through decisions……trusting…..feeling your soul connected with another……you work together as one…….without compromising principles and convictions, because you share common goals, morals, faith, interests……you respect each other….and even though you continue to grow within yourselves, allow yourselves to grow within each other and with GOD…..your emotions deepen with time, even through misunderstandings and conflicts…..you do not expect anything in return……wanting the best for the other person, whether or not you get hurt in the end……you want the other person to be completely happy with our without you…..you are very aware of what you are getting yourself into and you want it with everything you have……you stop and think about it, yet still want it…..when the excitement has worn off, you still feel for that person like you did in the very beginning….you still want to be with that person through thick and thin….strengthened by time and separation….even through the pain…..

 

Infatuation is based on attraction and impulse.  Infatuated with the idea of romance and love.  When infatuation transcends beyond these things….it grows into love.

Love is based on attraction, communication, attachment, passion, commitment.  Love is patient.  Love is understanding.  Love is seeing the person for EVERYTHING they are.  Love is looking into a person’s heart and soul.  Love is trust, not jealousy.  Love is based on mutual respect.  Love, though it involves compromise and effort, is held together because you truly want it to.  Love means having the desire to wake up every morning to that person beside you.  Love means, after time, you are still able to look at that person and say, “This feeling I’m feeling is something I’ve never known and I just can’t take my eyes off of you.”  “For it was not  into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.  It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”  Love means loving the little things, the things that most would never see.  Love means giving everything you have to it, because you know it’s worth it.  “To love unconditionally, you give them your whole heart, not just bits and pieces from behind a wall with limits and conditions.”  And love…. LOVE….TRUE LOVE….means wanting happiness for the other person…and there’s nothing you wouldn’t do to make them feel your love….even if it means letting them go.

 

The first time I said “I love you,” it was based on infatuation…..infatuation with the idea of love….the idea of relationship…..the idea of never again being alone.  I spent part of my life in a relationship that was primarily based on that infatuation.  Sure, I grew to care, which grew to love.  But LOVE and being IN LOVE are two different things.  That relationship ended.   I vowed that I would never again say the words “I LOVE YOU,” unless I truly meant it with every part of my body, mind, heart, and soul.  When you know it’s right, you just know it.  When the infatuation, the excitement, the newness has worn off….throughout difficulties and setbacks….and you still feel that nothing will ever change how you see that person……and that you still feel in your heart what you did when it was all brand new…..when you want to wake up to their messy hair every morning….when you want to fall asleep to their warm body and occasional sweet little snores…..when you want to watch them slide across the floor in their socks and listen to them sing to the top of their lungs…..when you think it’s cute when they get sidetracked…..when nothing they say gets old and all you want to do is listen to everything they say and take it all in….when you want their eyes to be the last eyes you look into…..when you want their lips to be the last ones you ever kiss….when you want their hand to be the last one you ever hold….when you want to comfort them when they’re in need….to wipe away their tears….when you want to take away all their pain….when you want their smile to be the last smile you see…when you want their face to be the last face you touch…..when you can see yourself with them and are willing to take it slow to see where things go…..when you can picture yourself starting a family with them…..when you always want to work through complications and misunderstandings…..when you are faced with trials and separations and you feel more for them than you did in the beginning……when you want to wait for the time to be right for them……and when all you want is for your special someone to be completely happy in every single way….even if you must put your heart and feelings aside…… when you feel all these things…..infatuation ceases and LOVE begins….LOVE exists……LOVE…..

SELFLESS LOVE……

 

“To love is to risk not being loved in return….but risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”

 

You can risk saying those three powerful words, before knowing if it is infatuation or love….that is your choice.

I choose to take a risk……not for infatuation….but a risk……for LOVE!!!

 

~Bek~