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abound, acceptance, against, alive, amazing, awake, breathe, chase, choice, choose, Christmas, completely, courage, dance, difference, dying, exist, existance, exists, eyes, faith, fear, fighting, fullest, God, happy, have, heartache, hope, human, i hope you dance, journey, last, life, live, love, matter, matters, open, pain, quality of life, rainbow, refuse, routine, settle, storm, strength, take in, three, true, truly, unconditional love, women, yourself Bek
6:13 am
Each day we awake….we open our eyes….we breathe…
We awake with a choice….
A choice to exist…..or a choice to live….
What’s the difference?
To exist is to have life….
To live is to be alive….
Life is the general or universal condition of human existance….
But to be alive….to be alive is to have the quality of life…..to abound…
I don’t want to wake each day to the same routine…
I want to make each day truly matter….
To live like each day is my last…
I refuse to settle.
I think back to the three amazing women I had the priviledge to spend Christmas with….
One showed me that even through heartache….unconditional love exists…
Another showed me that acceptance isn’t everything….but to be true to yourself and to God is what completely matters…
The third showed me that come what may….through pain and fear….I can find strength….I can find courage….I can hold on to hope and faith…
I began on a journey this year….
a journey to chase after my rainbow….
At the end of 2010 I grasped that rainbow….
Though I am fighting the storm coming against me….
I am holding on…
Because I don’t want to just exist…
I want to live like I were dying….
To live my life to the fullest…
To take it all in…
To be happy…
To love…
TO BE ALIVE!!!
Will you choose to exist or to live? Will you choose to have life or to be alive?
I Hope You Dance
~Bek~
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able, accurately, achieve, ahead, becoming, belief, believe, believed, best, cannot, care, challenge, chance, Chances, change, changes, choice, choices, choose, choosing, chosen, completely, concern, confusion, consequences, control, damage, decision, desire, determined, doubt, express, faith, favorable, fear, focus, friend, full, future, God, gradually, greater, growth, happiest, happiness, hesitancy, honest, if, indecision, indefiniteness, indeterminacy, indeterminancy, life, living, loos, lose, love, midnight, mirror, mistakes, myself, mystelf, never, new years, open, opportunity, others, ourselves, outlook, pain, pass, perceive, perfect, person, possibilities, potential, predict, problem, process, prove, question, reevaluate, regret, regrets, resolutions, run, scare, see, selection, sharing, skepticism, smile, speed, step back, stopping, strive, stroke, supposition, surround, survive, take, taking, things, thought, times, tired, touch, transform, triggered, true, truly, uncertainties, uncertainty, unknown, unpredicatbility, unpredictability, vocally, watch, what, what if, what ifs, wish, worried, worry, wrong, year Bek
6:33 am
A friend asked if I had made any New Years resolutions…to which, of course, I replied, “No.” I haven’t made resolutions in quite a while. (I have never really believed in them, because you don’t just change the way you are at the stroke of midnight.) She then asked me what was the one thing that I would choose if I had to. It really hit me. What I want this year is to be completely true to myself and to who I am. I no longer want to worry about how others perceive me. I am an honest person, but I want to be a more open person to those I love and to those that I truly care about. I have a problem sharing things vocally at times, usually worried that I will say the wrong things, or worried that I cannot accurately express myself. I’m tired of living with regrets because of the things I have chosen not to say and/or do. I do not know what lies ahead of me and this change in my outlook…and my desire to have more self-confidence in this new year. It will be a challenge…but I will achieve it.
All this triggered my thought process…about change…uncertainties…and regrets. Who is to know what the future holds? Who is to know where each step we take will lead us? But what opportunities will we miss out on if we do not choose to take those steps toward our future?
Life is full of uncertainties – doubt, hesitancy, indeterminacy, unpredictability, indefiniteness. We ask ourselves, “what if?”…. What if things never change? What if they do and it is the wrong decision? What if I regret taking a chance on something? What if I don’t take that chance, will I regret never taking it? …. What if!? We can ask ourselves that question all day long, but if we wait to do everything until we know for sure that things are right, or certain, then we will never do much of anything. We have to make choices, take chances, and at times make changes, in order to survive this crazy thing called life. Uncertainty – worry, skepticism, concern, confusion, indecision. What if!? … If – a supposition; an uncertainty. Asking the question, “what if,” will either make us step back and reevaluate, or make us lose out on greater possibilities. How will we ever know what the future holds by always stopping and asking ourselves “what if”? Life is full of regrets…but it’s not the things you do that you regret, it’s the things that you don’t do and wish you had that you regret the most. No choice, chance, or change in life is ever perfect. That is what makes life – our existence – so hard at times. Our uncertainties can either develop us or damage us. Change can be consumed with fear…fear of heartache or regret. We have to stop and ask ourselves, what will we lose in this change; but we must also ask ourselves, is this fear of change really worth losing the possibility of gaining something greater? Choice – selection; chance – possibility, or favorable opportunity; change – to transform, or to pass gradually into. We cannot predict the future. We cannot determine what will happen next in life. All we can do is take baby steps into the next window of opportunity. Though there are always consequences to every decision made, live in the moment and choose what will make you happy. Growth does not happen without change. Change does not happen without fear, pain, or loss. Without pain, we have no growth. Every decision can be made without regrets as long as you are able, in the end, to look in the mirror with a smile on your face and say, “life has its uncertainties and its what if’s, but I am determined to live it, knowing that I opened the door of change for greater possibilities.” Life is full of uncertainties – we can either let them control us, or we can overcome them…we all have a choice…
I, for one, no longer want to live in fear of change and the things that I desire. I am holding on to faith — the belief in what I cannot see, prove, or touch. I am choosing to run, FULL-SPEED, into the unknown.
“Sometimes those things that scare us the most are also the ones that have the potential to make us the happiest.”
From this point on…I will learn to care less about what others think of me…and focus more on who I am…the person I am becoming…and my happiness. I will surround myself with people who know that I make mistakes and still love me anyway. I will always strive to do my best for others, but I am not perfect.
Take me as I am….or watch me as I go.
~Bek~
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conceptionsoflife 