After reading several statuses, on Facebook, in the past few days, I thought I should share this: I used to question why things have happened to me – why have people treated me as they have – referring to past relationships, past friendships, etc. I would get so tired of being used, hurt, talked down to, made to feel guilty, and rejected. Yet, I have never been one who enjoys drama (except the kind of drama found on TV and in movies – you have to have a little SVU, in your life!!). I steer clear of drama, every chance I get, trying to keep the peace, as much as possible. At times, I have felt manipulated, and only wanted around when needed; at times, I was. Many times, I felt played; many times, I was. But, it was easier to just keep my opinions to myself, to just do what I was asked, to give more than what was being received – not because I’m a pushover… again, I was keeping the peace. You see, I was always told to “be me.” I didn’t like how others were treating me. I didn’t want to be like them. So, I gave of myself, how I would hope others would be to me. I still do. While reading those certain statuses, that I mentioned earlier, I saw in them pain, hurt, bitterness, rejection. I saw anger, depression, and shame. I saw blame, manipulation, and control – blaming another for something (which, may have indeed been true), but allowing that persons actions to eventually control their own; hence, the cross-manipulation, bitterness, anger, resentment, etc. Sure, my life has not been the easiest. These last few years – 2010 & 2011 – were two of my hardest years. 2012, was on the verge of that as well, but during my hardest month, of 2012, I was told something that really struck me:
No one can control the actions of others. But, what can be controlled is how you allow others to treat you…and how you react to it.
“No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt“Men will treat you the way you let them.” – Tucker MaxThe realization came to me… It is perfectly acceptable to “be me,” but it is also perfectly acceptable to set boundaries for myself. I cannot solely fault those, who have hurt or used me, for their actions, for it has been my actions that have decided, in the end, what “happened to me.” I said all of that, to say this… if you feel used, don’t allow yourself to be used again. Be you and be there for that person, yet set your boundaries! You may not be able to jump and fulfill their every need… DO THEY HELP YOU TOO? If you feel manipulated, don’t manipulate back… STAND UP FOR YOURSELF! YOU DESERVE BETTER! If someone hurts you.. TELL THEM.. TALK IT OUT.. DO NOT HURT BACK! (If you do, you’re only stooping to their level.) If you’re being played… again, you deserve better. Someone who loves you and cares about you will NOT play you… WALK AWAY!!!! If you have been rejected… that was that person’s loss… don’t keep looking at the door that’s closed.. there is someone else waiting for you to see them… OPEN THE NEXT DOOR!!! Be with the person that knows what they have when they have you… not after they lose you.You may think you have such a horrible life, but you’re making it horrible, by dwelling on what is done and cannot be changed. At this moment, you have the right to change your story’s ending. Start writing the next chapter. Stop worrying yourself, with the actions of others. Sure it’s ok to question, but start controlling the way you deal with it.You may have been the victim, but you have a choice whether or not to stay the victim. You also have the choice whether or not to be the next offender. FORGIVE AND MOVE ON!!!!!STOP POSTING YOUR PROBLEMS ON FACEBOOK…. and BE HAPPY FOR THE THINGS THAT ARE GOING RIGHT IN YOUR LIFE!!!Live life knowing that, no matter what others have done, or chose to do to you, you gave it your best shot… for yourself, and for others. Let people know how you want to be treated. Place your boundaries. Don’t lose yourself in others.Stop concerning yourself with trying to make someone else a better person… BE A BETTER YOU!!!Remember this…Disempowerment is YOUR CHOICE and ONLY YOURS!!! ~Bek
We make a plan for our lives…. we dream… we seek a future… a road that we choose to follow, as we see fit, in order to reach the destination we have created for ourselves. This road, has been traveled by others before us. It has been traveled by others with the same dreams, the same desires, the same fleshly wants. There are footprints in this road…so many we don’t know which to follow and which to avoid. It is lined with many road signs: go forward, speed up, slow down, back up, yield, turn around. More times than none, we reach a dead-end. By the time we reach our destination, we lose who we are, who we wanted to become, and more importantly who GOD wants us to become. We must STOP! What is the purpose of trying to find ways to continue down that road, when the person we have become is not who we want to be? What is the purpose of being miserable in who we are and in a destination that leaves us longing for more?
Hopes and dreams, and all the things
That you have ever made
It don’t mean much if in the end
You have lost your way
STOP!! Refocus…..
Do not continue on the dead-end journey, a journey that you know is not going to change, a journey to a destination that is not complementary to your future.
STOP!! Make a change…..
“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”
“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.”
Too many times, we get accustomed to the life, the journey, the destination. Too many times we choose to keep things as they are, no matter how dismal things have become. Too many times we fear letting go of the familiar. Too many times we lose out on a better life, a better journey, a better destination.
“In the midst of your greatest struggle lies the greatest opportunity for growth. You grow through struggle.”
When the “dead-end” of our journey is reached, we struggle….we struggle with worry, with fear, with pain, with hurt. We become afraid of the what if’s in life and the fears of regret. However, we can learn from these struggles….and by giving them to GOD….we can grow.
Guilt and pain…
Here and now
Lay them down at the Savior’s feet…
Let go of all you know
Only then can life be found
Surrender all you hold
Lay it down, Lay it down, Lay it down
STOP!! Seek HIM….
“The greatest thing in this life is not where we stand, but in what direction we are moving.”
“Leave the broken, irreversible past in God’s hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him.”
Cry out to your Heavenly Father….. leave your will behind and seek after HIS PERFECT WILL. Let no dead end of your human desires stop you from seeking after the WILL OF GOD!! Do not continue on a journey or continually live in a destination that leaves you hungry….hungry for love…hungry for peace….hungry for happiness…hungry for an understanding….hungry for a WALK and a RELATIONSHIP with GOD. Do not remain in a destination of uncertainty or constraint. The past is the past and the present destination can be changed. The pain, the hurt, the worry, the fear……place them in the hands of JESUS CHRIST….and move FORWARD!! HE will take care of everything else, when you choose to follow after HIM.
STOP!! Pray….
And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened.
Luke 11:9-10
When we seek after Christ and we choose to follow HIS WILL…..we surrender to HIM. We no longer choose to walk by fear, but by FAITH.
“FAITH makes things possible….not easy.”
The new road in HIM will not be easy, but HE has a plan and a purpose. Though we do not see the destination, HE does. When we ask for a way out, when we ask for direction, when we ask for a new journey and a new destination….HIS WORD says that WE SHALL RECEIVE, WE SHALL FIND, and the door SHALL BE OPENED. When HE answers your prayers….follow HIM. Hold on by faith to HIM. HE will lead you on a new road. It will be a road where the only footprints are HIS. It will be a journey where the only road signs say “FOLLOW ME.“
If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be…
John 12:26
GO!!! Follow HIM by FAITH…..
“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.”
You will find yourself in HIM….in HIS journey for you….and then you will discover your new destination…a new dream…a new future….with all the fullness of love….of happiness…of peace….
What have you got to lose?
Think of all you have to gain
HIS light….your light…awaits….
at the end of a road yet untraveled…..that leads to a world yet unseen…….
In life, we all face many uncertainties – those that require choices, chances, and changes. At times, we become completely afraid….afraid of how our choices, chances, and changes we make will affect our future….and possibly the future of others. In these moments, we struggle with doubt, with worry, with fear. In these moments, we lose our faith. We pray….we seek answers….but yet, we are walking by fear and not by faith. Fear causes us to close the doors that have been opened for us, because we are too afraid to walk through them. In order for us to move forward with our lives….in order for us to allow God to lead us….we must listen….we must follow….we must walk by FAITH.
“Faith isn’t the ability to believe long and far into the misty future, it’s simply taking God at His Word and taking the next step.” ~ Joni Erickson Tada
We live in the season of uncertainty…. the season of questions….the season of doubt. The Bible tells us to “fear not.” In fact, Jesus told us to “FEAR NOT” 365 times throughout the Bible. Three-hundred and sixty-five times!! Because of that, His Words cover 365 days of each year. That means that each day we wake up….we know that before we even begin our day….come what may…. God said “FEAR NOT!!”
The Bible specifically tells us that God is not the author of fear. When God opens the door….when he gives you direction….hold on to your faith…it will get you through. Doubt, worry, confusion, fear….these are not of Him.
For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace… 1 Corinthians 14:33
For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
When we pray….when we seek God’s face….when we cry out to Him for answers…. when we ask for direction……. He will give us strength…. He will give us peace. At times of peace, we still question…we still worry….we still doubt….though we shouldn’t… BECAUSE as HE said…FEAR NOT!!!!!
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
For we walk by Faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7
Faith means that we have to step out into the unknown…..holding fast and holding strong to the hand of GOD…..HE will lead and guide us….HE WILL catch us if we fall…
Feels like I’ve been here forever,
why can’t you just intervene?
Do you see the tears keep falling?
And I’m falling apart at the seams.
But you never said the road would be easy,
But you said that you would never leave.
And you never promised that this life wasn’t hard,
But you promised you’d take care of me…..
I’ll trust you God….
and believe you will have your way…
It’s time to take the step of FAITH………and FEAR NOT!!
A friend asked if I had made any New Years resolutions…to which, of course, I replied, “No.” I haven’t made resolutions in quite a while. (I have never really believed in them, because you don’t just change the way you are at the stroke of midnight.) She then asked me what was the one thing that I would choose if I had to. It really hit me. What I want this year is to be completely true to myself and to who I am. I no longer want to worry about how others perceive me. I am an honest person, but I want to be a more open person to those I love and to those that I truly care about. I have a problem sharing things vocally at times, usually worried that I will say the wrong things, or worried that I cannot accurately express myself. I’m tired of living with regrets because of the things I have chosen not to say and/or do. I do not know what lies ahead of me and this change in my outlook…and my desire to have more self-confidence in this new year. It will be a challenge…but I will achieve it.
All this triggered my thought process…about change…uncertainties…and regrets. Who is to know what the future holds? Who is to know where each step we take will lead us? But what opportunities will we miss out on if we do not choose to take those steps toward our future?
Life is full of uncertainties – doubt, hesitancy, indeterminacy, unpredictability, indefiniteness. We ask ourselves, “what if?”…. What if things never change? What if they do and it is the wrong decision? What if I regret taking a chance on something? What if I don’t take that chance, will I regret never taking it? …. What if!? We can ask ourselves that question all day long, but if we wait to do everything until we know for sure that things are right, or certain, then we will never do much of anything. We have to make choices, take chances, and at times make changes, in order to survive this crazy thing called life. Uncertainty – worry, skepticism, concern, confusion, indecision. What if!? … If – a supposition; an uncertainty. Asking the question, “what if,” will either make us step back and reevaluate, or make us lose out on greater possibilities. How will we ever know what the future holds by always stopping and asking ourselves “what if”? Life is full of regrets…but it’s not the things you do that you regret, it’s the things that you don’t do and wish you had that you regret the most. No choice, chance, or change in life is ever perfect. That is what makes life – our existence – so hard at times. Our uncertainties can either develop us or damage us. Change can be consumed with fear…fear of heartache or regret. We have to stop and ask ourselves, what will we lose in this change; but we must also ask ourselves, is this fear of change really worth losing the possibility of gaining something greater? Choice – selection; chance – possibility, or favorable opportunity; change – to transform, or to pass gradually into. We cannot predict the future. We cannot determine what will happen next in life. All we can do is take baby steps into the next window of opportunity. Though there are always consequences to every decision made, live in the moment and choose what will make you happy. Growth does not happen without change. Change does not happen without fear, pain, or loss. Without pain, we have no growth. Every decision can be made without regrets as long as you are able, in the end, to look in the mirror with a smile on your face and say, “life has its uncertainties and its what if’s, but I am determined to live it, knowing that I opened the door of change for greater possibilities.” Life is full of uncertainties – we can either let them control us, or we can overcome them…we all have a choice…
I, for one, no longer want to live in fear of change and the things that I desire. I am holding on to faith — the belief in what I cannot see, prove, or touch. I am choosing to run, FULL-SPEED, into the unknown.
“Sometimes those things that scare us the most are also the ones that have the potential to make us the happiest.”
From this point on…I will learn to care less about what others think of me…and focus more on who I am…the person I am becoming…and my happiness. I will surround myself with people who know that I make mistakes and still love me anyway. I will always strive to do my best for others, but I am not perfect.
After reading several statuses, on Facebook, in the past few days, I thought I should share this: I used to question why things have happened to me – why have people treated me as they have – referring to past relationships, past friendships, etc. I would get so tired of being used, hurt, talked down to, made to feel guilty, and rejected. Yet, I have never been one who enjoys drama (except the kind of drama found on TV and in movies – you have to have a little SVU, in your life!!). I steer clear of drama, every chance I get, trying to keep the peace, as much as possible. At times, I have felt manipulated, and only wanted around when needed; at times, I was. Many times, I felt played; many times, I was. But, it was easier to just keep my opinions to myself, to just do what I was asked, to give more than what was being received – not because I’m a pushover… again, I was keeping the peace. You see, I was always told to “be me.” I didn’t like how others were treating me. I didn’t want to be like them. So, I gave of myself, how I would hope others would be to me. I still do. While reading those certain statuses, that I mentioned earlier, I saw in them pain, hurt, bitterness, rejection. I saw anger, depression, and shame. I saw blame, manipulation, and control – blaming another for something (which, may have indeed been true), but allowing that persons actions to eventually control their own; hence, the cross-manipulation, bitterness, anger, resentment, etc. Sure, my life has not been the easiest. These last few years – 2010 & 2011 – were two of my hardest years. 2012, was on the verge of that as well, but during my hardest month, of 2012, I was told something that really struck me:
conceptionsoflife 